I’m A Real Person

When I started my fitness journey I tried to look for blogs to motivate and inspire me. I, like the rest of the internet, was obsessed with the before and afters. I spent countless hours scouring blogs looking for “the secret” to their success. It seemed like every blog I read was already a success story. They were living their after. And somehow in my mind I thought they were nothing like me. Sure, I read posts about people struggling with a plateau or gaining back a few pounds, but those didn’t stick out to me. It was like all I saw was the photoshopped, edited, perfect happy endings. I’m not saying that is all that was there, but that is what my mind focused on.

So I started documenting my journey, in all of it’s glory, in hopes that other people would realize that I’m just a real person with real life and real struggles to deal with along this journey. But sometimes I get the feeling that people look at me and see the “edited, publishable” side of my story more than the struggles I’ve faced. While I may not consider myself an after yet, I’ve made some progress.

I hear so often “If only I had your motivation” or “I could never do that” or maybe when I’m not so busy…. That one is my favorite.

I try to be as open as possible, but of course every person wants to showcase their best. Do I instagram everything I eat? Nope. Am I more likely to post pictures of meals like this:

//instagram.com/p/ffz_vEDIqz/embed/

Then pictures of the FroYo I had on Friday night? Of course. But I also post my progress pictures, including the extra skin. I guess what I’m saying is please remember I’m just a real person. I’m a wife and mother. I’m a business owner. I’m pressed for time and sometimes the best decisions aren’t the easiest to make. I drink way too much coffee. I don’t drink enough water. I’m up at 5:15 most mornings (4:15 on Fridays) and have to get my pre-workout meal prepped and eaten while trying to wrangle a sleepy 3 year old. Yes, I fitness is a part of my “job title” as a CrossFit Box owner, but that just means when I’m at CrossFit I’m in coach mode. Sure, it makes it easier to work out in the mornings because I’m already there. But there is still the business to be run, the kid to be taken care of, and clients around. I have to choose to push myself. I rush home from morning classes to get breakfast ready for the hubs and kiddo as well as myself, which often means cooking separate meals. Clean up as much as I can and then on to the “day job” –

Yes, I work from home. But I still sit at a computer all day answering emails and working on projects. Lunch break means another chance to cook several different meals and attempt to clean what I can then back to work. Work some more until its time to prep to leave for evening classes at the CrossFit. Coach all night, back home for another round of meals. Get the kid ready for bed, try to clean up and prep for the next day before collapsing into bed. Somewhere in there I manage to fit in a couple hours of school work a week. My house is almost always messier than I’d like. Clothes stay in the drier and laundry baskets longer than I’d care to admit.

I still only have 24 hours in a day. I’m still human. I still mess up. I’m a real person. I have been at this for awhile and I still get discouraged about my progress. I know the scale is a liar but I still hate it when the number is higher than I think it should be. I get pimples, have to worry about facial hair (thanks mom), and struggle with the reflection in the mirror some days. I hate how some clothes fit me, struggle with any sort of fashion that isn’t spandex or sweats. But I’m also proud of my journey. While I may mess up and binge on spaghetti on what is supposed to be my low carb day (whoops) I still make healthy choices more often then not. I may hate my saggy skin but it is a reminder of how far I’ve come. I try my best to be grateful for the journey and my progress so far, but I know I’m not “there” yet. I still care what people think of me even though I know I shouldn’t.

I don’t say all this to be like look at me rockin life. Because if we’re honest 70% of the time I feel like I suck at life. I say this to encourage you! You may struggle with some of these same things, but you can still make progress. One step at a time. Maybe it’s starting to make a meal plan. or waking up 15 minutes early to stretch or go for a walk. Maybe it’s drinking one more cup of water a day. Maybe you’re just having a day where you feel like nothing you do matters. It does. You are important. You are worth it.

When you look at pinterest or tumblr or blogs don’t judge people by their progress. More importantly don’t judge yourself by their progress. Their journey is different than yours. They are real people too. You don’t know their struggles. I promise you, they had struggles.

Have you ever felt alone on your journey? What decisions can you make today to be better than you were yesterday?