I wanted to quit.

Ever since I started CrossFit I have been so pumped for every work out and I end feeling strong. Something about looking at what I just did gave me an awesome sense of accomplishment. Sure, I modify most of the WODs… but I still felt challenged. I started gaining confidence little by little. I kept trying to up my weight and really push myself.

The problem is when I was training for my marathon I had to learn how to conserve my energy to get through the long runs. CrossFit is the opposite of that. You have a short period of time and to maximize the results you have to maximize the effort. I always found myself feeling tired, but not beat after the WODs. Then I read a post by Olivia from Biggest Loser Season 11 (She’s a crazy CrossFitter and total Beast!) about emptying the tank.

I realized that sometimes I don’t push myself because I’m afraid that I won’t finish. Having that DNF at the WDW Marathon really messed with my head when it came to pushing myself in a workout. I never wanted to run out of energy and not be able to finish something, or not be fast enough to finish something, or whatever the case may be.

Saturday I went to CrossFit and we were doing a 12 Minute AMRAP (As Many Rounds As Possible) of 12 Push Press, 12 Pull ups and 12 Pistols (one legged squats). I was pushing myself hard. I decided I was going to empty the tank. I was dying around 9-10 minutes. I finished round 3 and looked at the clock, just under 2 minutes left. I thought I couldn’t fit in another round. So I thought about quitting. Well not quitting… just stopping early. Like how I justified that? I decided to push past empty and go for one more. I finished the last Pistol squat as the clock wound down to zero. I was spent. But I didn’t quit.

 love this quote at my box… learn to never quit. I’m learning!

This morning I went to CrossFit and saw the WOD and thought eh- it won’t be that bad. 7 rounds of 10 Hang Cleans and 10 Burpees every 3 minutes (Sidenote- strength was Deadlift… and I did 100#!!) I used 55# for the Hang Cleans and it actually felt pretty light the first 2 rounds. Believe it or not this was my first WOD with burpees! and I hate them as much as I thought I would. Rounds 3-5 were tough. Round 6 almost killed me. I didn’t think I could do anymore. I wanted to quit. I thought about quitting. But I didn’t quit.

I found the lost will and determination in the depths of my soul and hammered out the last round. I ended that WOD totally empty. And it felt great. I was a sweaty mess laying on the floor of the box trying to catch my breath. But I was proud. Not only did I push myself physically, but I pushed myself mentally. I find that many times my biggest setback in achieve goals is simply my mindset. I talked about that a little bit in my post about self-sabotage. Realizing that I am my biggest road block is hard, but freeing. That means that I have the ability to change my mind about what I can (or can’t) do! How empowering!

 Have you ever pushed past a mental block? What are some things you wanted to quit but pushed through anyway?

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