so here I am sitting downstairs in a dark quiet house at 6:30 in the morning because I just can’t seem to get back to sleep. I wish I could say it was horrible contraction pains that woke me up, but it wasn’t. I have been having some mild contractions off and on, but nothing to warrant a trip to the hospital. I was so sure that I would have this baby already… but apparently she has other plans. I know, I know… first time moms usually go “late”… but I was sure I was different. So, I find myself home on maternity leave and running out of things to clean and organize!! I will say, however, it has been nice to relax and really start to wrap my mind around the idea that i’m about to become a mom. I think throughout the entire pregnancy i’ve been keeping myself so busy its just in these last few weeks its becoming “real”. As I sit on the couch watching TV and look over at the swing and bouncer in the next room I try to imagine what life will look like with a little one. I wonder what she’ll look like and what kind of a personality she’ll have. The magnitude of this life change is starting to hit home… for the last 2 1/2 years its been just me and Chris. For the rest of our lives it will be our “family”. In some ways I don’t feel nearly old enough to be having a child of my own, but I know that Chris and I are going to be great parents and the timing is perfect.
The “nervousness” of labor and delivery has quickly faded into anxiousness of when will this baby be here? I’m not really scared at all. I’m more excited than anything. I’m ready to get this show on the road! The thing is I have no control over when she decides to come. Maybe thats the hardest part… just not knowing. She’s already calling the shots and she’s not even here yet!!
So here I am playing the waiting game… trying my best to be patient…. But anxiously looking forward to having a precious little one to share life with.
imperfectly courtney 