So, the thing about CrossFit… one of the many, anyway… Is that there is always something to improve on. While I have come such a long way, there are still certain things that I hate/suck at more than others. One thing that I have made no secret about is my hatred/fear of box jumps.
I hate it that they scare me so much.
Everyone says it is “just a box” but to me it is so much more.
I was crossfitting for several months before I even attempted a box jump. I would walk up to it, try to jump and psych myself out and not even get off the ground.
The box jump began to be about so much more than just a box jump. It was everyone who ever told me I couldn’t. It was everything I told myself I could never do. It was the “chubby girl can’t jump” mindset I’ve had since my pre-teen years. It was every fitting room I’ve run out of crying because nothing fit. Every fat joke I made because laughing was easier than crying. It was all of my fears, insecurities and doubts all nailed together in a measly 18″ wooden box. And several times a week for months I would stare it down. Tell myself I was going to do it…. and miss. People were watching me struggle. They saw me try and told me I could do it. I had heard those words before, but this time I started to believe them. I stacked up some bumper plates the same height as the box. and I jumped. and I nailed it. I put the pile of bumper plates next to the box… jumped again. nailed it. I went for the box. It was the same height I just jumped. I knew it.
I am good enough to do this.
I jumped…. and nailed it.
After that day I worked my way up to the 20 inch box, which is typically the standard for females. I got comfortable with it.
What a dangerous word.
It seems harmless enough, being comfortable. The problem is if you get too comfortable you don’t want to move. I remembered how afraid I was of that box and I didn’t want to feel that way again. So I avoided ever even attempting to jump on the 24 inch box.
Until last week. The
horrible great thing about working out with your significant other is they know how to push your buttons. It was just the 2 of us one morning last week and we were getting ready to do a box jump WOD when he so innocently said “You need to get your 24 inch jump today” …. Uhm…. No. I was scared! He did the whole smart alec “Oh ok…” and I knew then and there I had to do it. So I stood up and tried to jump… and I couldn’t even get my feet off the ground.
I circled the box, jumped the 20 inch a few times, then tried again… nope, not even close. I was mad now. Not at him, well, not just at him. But at myself. This was 100% mental.
I walked to the other side of the box mumbling something about how stupid this was and just forget it lets do the WOD… I threw some pogs across the room, flipped the box to the 20 inch side and jumped. I finally got pissed off enough that I was being ridiculous about 4 freaking inches, kicked the box up to the 24 inch side and jumped.
BOOM! NAILED IT!
I stood on the top of the box, 24 inches off the ground and celebrated.
I did it. It took my husband’s
antagonizing encouragement and when I landed it he celebrated with me. Things like this are so much better together! I also realized that it had always been my mind holding me back. If I can face this fear and conquer it, where else am I doubting myself?
Several years into this CrossFit journey I’m still learning so much about myself.
Just one of the many reasons I love what CrossFit does for you not just physically, but mentally as well.
And of course CrossFit can never leave well enough alone… 7 minutes into a 10 minute ascending ladder with the 20 inch box jumps I was so “comfortable” with and BAM… There goes my shin…
Moral of the Story: Don’t get too comfortable. Expand your comfort zone and you’ll see you are capable of doing far more than you let yourself believe. Also, getting too comfortable can make you careless. And that can hurt, trust me.
What are some areas you have gotten “comfortable” with?