Coffee Date, parenting

Coffee Date: Parenting

Good morning! How’s your week been going? I’m starting to feel a little more comfortable with our new schedule. Learning to balance it all has been difficult, but we are working through it. I am so ready for our coffee date! I have so much on my mind and could use some advice.

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If we were having coffee I’d be drinking out of my travel mug. I’ve been doing that since Alissa mentioned she did to keep her coffee hot longer. Brilliant, I tell you. I’d apologize for the chaos that is my life, suggesting next time we go out for coffee. You’d see the dogs wrestling (loudly) in the background as the kiddo is watching Disney Jr – completely unaware of the world around her. I would tell you that this is the first time I’ve actually gotten dressed in normal clothes all week. I’m wearing this color block top from Gwynnie Bee and I kind of love it. What I would really want to talk about is this precious little one…

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With everything changing so much with us, I can only imagine she feels a little off kilter too. For the past few months she has started going to the bathroom in her pants again. She has been potty trained for about a year now. She was even going through her nap times with no pull ups. Then she just started going in her pants a little bit before running to the bathroom. No big deal. Then we had to put a pull up back on her at nap time. Again no big deal. Eventually she just started all out peeing in her pants several times a day. So now when we go out I have to decide if I’m going to put her in a pull up or not. I don’t really know how to handle it. I certainly don’t want to shame her for it, but I want her to know that big girls don’t do that. We have been planning on putting her in Preschool a few days a week, but most places require her age group to be fully potty trained. And she was. But not she’s not. I know she’ll grow out of this – but it is hard for me to understand right now. She’s just so stinkin smart.

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Sometimes I feel guilty- Like I did something to cause it. Maybe I’m not “there” for her enough even though we are almost always constantly together. I’ll be the first to admit she watches too much tv… The hubs and I both work from home full time so to get work done sometimes that is what we need to do. Add in the new CrossFit adventure… it’s a lot going on for all of us. I’ve found myself actually listening to what I’m saying and how I’m saying it to her. I don’t want to just be a nagging voice – but to remind her of how precious and beautiful she is.

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If we were having coffee I would ask you for advice. She is growing up into such a beautiful little lady, I just want to make sure I’m doing everything I can to help her along the way. She is so precious and has such a sweet spirit. I love when her eyes light up when you tell her you’re proud of her. It kills me to see her eyes well up with tears when she knows she did something wrong. She rarely gets punished because the poor girl punishes herself enough.

I am just overwhelmed that God has entrusted me with such a beautiful soul. I want to use my time with her wisely. The weight of the responsibility that comes with parenting is heavy sometimes…. today is one of those times.

If we were having coffee… What would you tell me?

Linking up with Alissa.

11 thoughts on “Coffee Date: Parenting”

  1. It is regression. It apparently is normal for this age group. Zoe has been wetting the bed again and sometimes at nap time. If they get stressed or there are changes. For Zoe it was the move then Josh being out of town for over a month. That REALLY did her in. We have started a reward system. I bought big paper stars. If she is dry when she wakes up she gets a star on her bedroom wall. We also do a punch card that we found at store for “teachers” She gets a punch if we think she has been good (another issue we have been having is temper tantrums) We will punch her card if she is good while shopping, if she managed to control her temper, etc. Then once she fills her card we take she shopping for a small prize. So far all is working. I do understand your frustration. I am sure your smart cookie will be back on track in no time!!!!

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  2. I’d tell you that by merely feeling the way you do, you know you are a great mom! Part of it is always wanting to do more for them.
    I’d tell you in terms of the potty training, reward the good! Make a chart and for every (insert # here) times she goes without an accident, give her something special – stickers, coloring page, dollar store trinket, etc. Very similar to previous post. Really be sure to focus on the positive!
    Keep up all the great work!

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  3. I think if we were sitting down for coffee, I would first tell you how proud I am of you, and how much I’ve grown to like black coffee.

    Second, I would tell you that this too shall pass. She won’t be in pull-ups when she goes to college. A LOT of kids regress. A LOT! More than you know. Parents don’t like to admit it πŸ˜‰ It’s a well-kept secret. I’d go back to potty-training basics. Fill her up with fluids, set a timer, and take her to the potty every 15 minutes.

    Hugs.

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  4. I’d say we are right there with you! I have a 3 yo who was potty trained right around 2 and started having accidents again last fall, I noticed it was when hubby and I were busy and unable to spend time with her. We got to the habit (try to) of spending time with her (at least 15 minutes) doing what she wants and dropping everything else, it has helped with listening too πŸ™‚

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  5. If we were having coffee, first off I would tell you how much I enjoy/look forward/appreciate our coffee dates. It’s so nice to find someone else who understands how I feel. I would tell you that my daughter went through the same regression…but she was four (only a few months off five) when it happened. I was beside myself! I didn’t know what to do…she was starting school soon and I was so worried about what would happen. Then I would tell you that it turned out okay. The poor little soul was so stressed, we worked through that and spent more time together and things improved. But, it was very hard at the time and I felt like a parenting failure. Lastly, I would tell you that you are a great parent. Because great parents are the ones who worry about these things. πŸ™‚ Hope you have a great weekend!

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  6. Oh man, I feel the same way. My oldest daughter has such an amazing soul and spirit and I constantly feel like I’m breaking that spirit. How could God entrust this sweet, creative, empathetic, funny, silly girl with ME?! I am so scared that I’m going to screw it up. :sigh: Being a mom is tough but you are doing a great job at being such a positive role model in her life!

    And, if we were having coffee, I would probably talk to you about my loneliness. Being a single mom is hard and I wish I had someone to share my day ins and outs with. 😦

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  7. Take the pull ups away and reward her when she does use the potty. She will learn ASAP ah e doesn’t like being wet! Stick close to home the first 2 days and expect accidents. When she has one just say oh darn you had an accident !make her help clean if possible. Day 3 go out with 1 change of clothes. If she has 1 accident change her. Second one say oh darn have to go home. Better if its a place she likes and you drive slow. This worked for my impossible to train 3 year old. Still got a pull-up at night for a few mos. good luck !

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  8. Parenting is scary. I have no advice as we are in the veeery beginning stages of potty training..which is asking Baby Belle if she wants to go potty and usually having her tell us no…we feel very unprepared and to be honest I haven’t even been doing any proper research etc. to take it more seriously. I bet some jazzier moms have some good advice but just always trust your gut…it is usually right πŸ™‚

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