welcome to my imperfect little corner of the interwebs.
some of you may know me from what feels like a previous life over at journeyofadreamer.com. i spent years and years blogging about my life there. that courtney was an entirely different person. that courtney was a young and optimistic wife, mother, business owner, and health enthusiast. over the past few years life has happened and i’m no longer most of those things. i’m now a not as young 30 year old divorced mother and grad student trying to figure out the rest of the “who i am” question.
second puberty is real, ya’ll.
as i emerge from my years of blogging silence i thought it was fitting that i create a completely new online space for the new me. the old courtney was obsessed with meeting the expectations of others, both online and in real life. and it broke me. as i felt the world as i knew it shattering around me i grasped for those shards of expectations i had built my entire worldview on, refusing to acknowledge the pain it caused me and those closest to me… attempting to smile as i bled out from the wounds created by grasping tightly to something so broken.
so, here i am.
broken. bloody. bruised.
but more alive than ever.
see, when hit rock bottom there is nothing else to lose. i lost it all. and in the midst of the darkest time of my life i made the decision to truly start living. and for the first time in my three decades of life, i acknowledged and embraced my imperfections. i still have some struggles with my desire to live up to expectations and portray this image of perfection. so i’ve dubbed myself a recovering perfectionist. embracing my flaws, shortcomings, and quirks as the things that make me unique instead of making me less valuable.
here i’ll share my thoughts about divorce, parenting & co-parenting, being a grad student at 30, finding financial peace, and learning to live a balanced healthy life.
i’m still in the process of designing and creating this online space… but i didn’t want to wait for it to be perfect before launching it. so, here it is in all of it’s imperfect glory.
and, boy howdy, is it imperfect. but it’s mine. see for a long time my ex-husband handled all my blog tech stuff. as i decided to get back into blogging and create a new space i knew i had to do it myself. and i did. from buying the domain to setting up hosting and installing wordpress and themes… i did it all on my own. once upon a time i believed i was a damsel in distress and wanted someone to ride in on a white horse and rescue me. now, i realize i’m so much more capable than i gave myself credit for and i am determined to figure things out for myself. and i have! not without some tears, throwing things, and lots of ice cream. but i have done it. and i’m damn proud.
i’m looking forward to sharing more with you as i walk this imperfect and unpredictable journey of life.
cheers to new beginnings!
what is something you have done recently that made you feel proud of yourself?