Lately I’ve been struggling to find something, anything to say. Some days I’ve felt like a fraud. I was filling out some application for something somewhere and it asked about what made my story unique. And it was then that I realized I stopped valuing my words… my influence… my story.
Maybe it is the comparison trap everyone talks about. or just feeling stuck. or inadequate. or that somehow my story wasn’t “sensational” enough. and I was taken back to the days of my bible school internship after high school. Classes, lectures, small groups… all encouraging you to write your personal testimony. Many people talked about lives riddled with drugs, sex, and abuse and some super emotional turning point where they came to know Jesus. And here I was some grossly naive 18 year old from Florida who grew up in church, never cussed, smoked, or drank… and had always known Jesus. I never felt lost, abused, or anything less than joyful. Sure, I had the typical teenager drama, but even that was muted. My story of redemption through Christ always seemed so… boring. average. mundane. And though I saw the pain and long lasting consequences that kind of life before Christ gave my friends, I envied them. It took me a long time to learn to own my story. because everyone’s is different.
but here I am back in that same boat. I look around at people who have lost 100lbs or more. and their story is sensational. their before and after is stunning. they lost it all in year and now they have wildly popular blogs and have been on tv and always look so perfect and fit. they have seemingly figured it all out. they have drool worthy recipes for healthy food, perfectly balanced with the right amount of cheats. they can eat burgers once a week and still maintain their goal weight. or maybe they figured out some life changing diet or unlocked the key to their food addiction or something else super sensational.
and here i am. i’m just an average girl. i was fat my whole life. and then i became a wife and a mom. and i was still fat. but i didn’t want to be. so i tried to lose weight. and if we are talking about numbers on a scale, my story isn’t impressive. the day i delivered my daughter (almost 5 years ago!) i weighed 250lbs.
After delivering a healthy 7 pound baby girl and all the fun that goes along with that, a few months later (April 2010) when I had my “aha” moment, I was around 235ish pounds.
Today, I weigh 201lbs. That is just 34lbs if you are judging my story by the scale. it doesn’t sound too impressive. Lots of people lose 30lbs. Most people do it over short period of time. It has been nearly 5 years. I just keep thinking… why is my story different? Why should people want to read about my story. I’m no different than anyone else. And then I realized… That’s what is special.
I am just like you.
I am a wife, mom, daughter, business owner… Trying to juggle too many things and feeling like I just can’t do it all. Because I can’t.
Because we can’t.
I don’t have any secrets to success because I still fail on the regular.
And when I get knocked down and find myself eating mini chocolate bars instead of that greek yogurt and protein shake, I don’t want someone to tell me what I should have done. Or how chocolate protein tastes just like a Reese’s (LIAR!)… I want someone to say I’ve been there too. And I got back up. Not because I felt guilty and ashamed… but because everybody has those imperfect moments.
What matters isn’t that you “fail” “mess up” “cheat” or whatever you want to call it.
What matters is that you keep trying, because you are worth it.
So, I may not have some sensational story. It has taken me 5 years to get here, and I feel like I’m still just beginning.
My Story Isn’t Special – but it is still worth telling.
And PS – The scale may only be 30-40lbs lighter… but I feel like a totally different person.
Tell Me About Your Story… Because it’s worth telling!