so a couple of weeks ago i started reading “redeeming love” by francine rivers. i couldn’t put it down. i was captivated by this story of Michael’s obedience and sensitivity to the Lord’s prompting. my heart was broken at the insecurity, fear and sense of worthlessness of the woman he takes as his wife. i was dumbfounded at how many times the woman sabotaged her own happiness because of her distorted self-view. this story left my heart wandering for several days. just like when i read the stories of God’s provision to the Isrealites in the desert and asked “how could they not see God was taking care of them? how could they complain?” and then realized i do the same thing more often then not, i realized that i can oftentimes sabotage the blessings and life God has for me because i don’t feel worthy. the horribly messy truth is that i am not worthy. i am a wretched sinner, but i have been redeemed by a loving God. It was in the last week that I had my ipod on shuffle and the song beloved by tenth avenue north came on. this lined up so perfectly with the lessons i was learning from this book.
Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you’re afraid I might see
You’ve been running away from me
You’re my beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It’s a mystery
Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I’am the giver of life
I’ll clothe you in whine
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me
You’re my beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
Well you’ve been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers it won’t satisfy
Won’t you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you’ll taste new life
Cause you’re my beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
Our Love it unites us
& it binds you to me
You’re my beloved
Forever we’ll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It’s a mystery
It’s a mystery
so good. if anything marriage has helped me learn more about the depth of the love of God. I can be having the worst day, be emotionally unstable, feel like I look horrible and Chris will come up out of no where and say something about how he is a lucky man to have a beautiful girl like me. I feel so unworthy of that. I need to learn to see myself the way that God (and my husband) see me. I have been redeemed by the amazing love of Christ. Yet still I fill myself up with other Gods… be it tv, music, food and even the internet. I allow myself to be satisfied with things of this world, rather than hunger after God. I “know” this truth, but sometimes my soul forgets it. How is that? I forget to remind myself. I’m so thankful for a God who is patient and forgiving.
What are some lessons God is teaching you right now?
imperfectly courtney 
hey!! so glad you guys had fun, i didn’t know you were going to disney! so fun! we do need to hand out… what does this next week hold for the normans? lets stop beating around the bush and make some plans 🙂
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