This post is part of the “Drafted” series — reflections on how spiritual performance shaped my faith, identity, and sense of purpose. This post steps out of the timeline. I had planned to keep things in order.To walk through the year the way it unfolded: chronologically, event by event.But revisiting my journals stopped me in my tracks. Because under the schedule, beneath the sermons,there was another story being written.A quieter one.A slower unraveling. Now, I’m holding the pages I once wrote in shaking hands—my 18-year-old self, trying so hard to be good, to be useful, to be holy.These journals were meant to mark my transformation.But reading them now, I see…

This post is part of the “Drafted” series —reflections on how spiritual performance shaped my faith, identity, and sense of purpose. In Called for Life, I wrote to my 17-year-old self with the compassion and clarity I didn’t have back then. Now, I’ve arrived at the place that calling led me:The Honor Academy.Where “honor” wasn’t just expected — it was required.And belonging came at the cost of becoming. They told us we were called to live lives of honor.But honor wasn’t always about the heart.It became a performance. A pursuit.I curated holiness so well, even I didn’t see myself slipping beneath it. I arrived at the Honor Academy with more…